Relationships

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  • Sexless Relationships and the Layered Cake Metaphor
    by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT on May 31, 2021 at 2:28 pm

    Alysha Jeney, LMFT, looks at a lack of sex in relationships, the layered cake metaphor and what sex positivity looks like.  A lack of sex in relationships can vary from trust issues to health related dysfunction. Sometimes circumstances such as having a new baby or struggling with infertility can throw everything off.  Or maybe you The post Sexless Relationships and the Layered Cake Metaphor first appeared on LoveAndLifeToolBox.

  • Pandemic: Why Not Yet Leaping Out Into the World Isn’t Weird
    by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on May 4, 2021 at 5:15 pm

    We’re not out of this thing yet as evidenced by the tragic surges unfolding in Covid hot spots in the world.  But we sure are miles ahead of the dark days and unknowns of the past year.  There are many reasons to celebrate the incredible job the country is doing in getting control of the The post Pandemic: Why Not Yet Leaping Out Into the World Isn’t Weird first appeared on LoveAndLifeToolBox.

  • His Desire for His Wife To Be Happy Got Complicated
    by Richard Nicastro, PhD on April 27, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    Richard Nicastro, PhD, through the eyes of “Nina,” explores what it can look like when protective love turns into hopeless frustration.   — If you’re a woman in a committed relationship, I’d like you to think about how your husband/partner reacts to you when you’re vulnerable — do your vulnerabilities bring out the best in him? The post His Desire for His Wife To Be Happy Got Complicated first appeared on LoveAndLifeToolBox.

  • How Are You Different?
    by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on April 10, 2021 at 1:10 am

    We have gone through so much in the past year.  We’ve adapted, bent, scrambled, mourned, watched, processed, prayed and hoped as our lives changed in ways it was impossible to have predicted.  Many have experienced vulnerability, fear and worry in new ways too.  As we in this country breathe in signs of hope for positive The post How Are You Different? first appeared on LoveAndLifeToolBox.

  • When This is Over
    by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT on March 13, 2021 at 5:01 pm

    This past year has felt to like it’s been sucked up into a vacuum.  Many of us are rubbing the Covid sleep out of our eyes with cautious optimism as vaccine rollouts accelerate and Covid numbers decline nationally.  The human toll has been profound on many levels and despite reasons to be hopeful, reasons for The post When This is Over first appeared on LoveAndLifeToolBox.

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  • The Ex Temptation: Rekindling Old Flames
    by Gina Yannotta on July 8, 2021 at 9:18 am

    Speaking of ex temptation, unless you switched off from last month’s news cycle (and really, who could blame you?), you’ll know June’s biggest celebrity story: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are back together after almost two decades. It was peak early 2000s. The pair dated, got engaged, and even sparked that trend of power couples The post The Ex Temptation: Rekindling Old Flames appeared first on Maclynn.

  • Summer Dates in SoCal
    by Sarah Powell on July 5, 2021 at 3:03 pm

    A statewide mask lift and it’s almost Summer 2021? California, you are heating up! But that is not the only thing heating up this summer. Now more than ever is a great time to say goodbye to the past, welcome new beginnings and get back out there. We understand that dating post-COVID life is daunting, The post Summer Dates in SoCal appeared first on Maclynn.

  • Single and Frustrated? Read My Top 3 Tips for Relationship Success in 2021
    by Rachel on June 29, 2021 at 9:29 am

    Are you feeling frustrated with the dissatisfying process of online dating? Do you feel you’re stuck in a rut of being single? Keep reading to find our top 3 tips to set you up for success towards finding true love in 2021. 1: While single get your priorities in order On the hunt for love, The post Single and Frustrated? Read My Top 3 Tips for Relationship Success in 2021 appeared first on Maclynn.

  • Dating Coach Services from Maclynn International
    by Rachel on June 22, 2021 at 9:50 am

    What Does a Dating Coach Service Involve? The date coaching experience differs for everyone because every single man and woman and every couple, experience different problems. Our team works to help you feel more in control of your personal dating life – whether you’re single or in a long-term relationship. We will discuss parts of The post Dating Coach Services from Maclynn International appeared first on Maclynn.

  • Going on a Date in a Post-Pandemic World?
    by Ira Nabatalieva on June 15, 2021 at 9:48 am

    Can you guess this year’s post pandemic hottest pickup line?  “I’m vaccinated!” While many of us are emerging from the pandemic eager to make up for lost time and full of plans for the Hot Vax Summer (yes, it’s a thing), some of us might still have anxieties about “returning to normal” and feel a The post Going on a Date in a Post-Pandemic World? appeared first on Maclynn.

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  • Why I Crave A Loving FLR
    by Te-Erika Patterson on July 23, 2021 at 7:35 pm

    Joe is a new member of the FLR Matchmaking Service. He is 27 years old and dedicated to finding the right partner for a Loving Female Led Relationship. I asked him to describe WHY he wants a Loving FLR and this was his response. From Joe To me, female authority is sexy.  I’ve always been+ Read More The post Why I Crave A Loving FLR appeared first on Loving FLR.

  • NBA Star Dwyane Wade Says His Wife Leads Their Marriage
    by Te-Erika Patterson on May 27, 2021 at 11:07 pm

    When Superstar NBA player Dwyane Wade describes his relationship, it is the epitome of a Loving Female Led Relationship yet social media is having a blast making fun of his love for his wife. In an interview he said: “It’s not the man leads and the woman follows, that’s not what we live in this+ Read More The post NBA Star Dwyane Wade Says His Wife Leads Their Marriage appeared first on Loving FLR.

  • I’m Afraid to Be in a FLR
    by Te-Erika Patterson on February 25, 2021 at 3:28 pm

    Dear Te-Erika, With her needs as a priority in a Female Led Relationship, I am concerned that my needs might not get the attention and support they need.  ~M Dear M, Men who are afraid of a Loving Female Led Relationship have probably spent a lot of time combing the internet for information about Loving+ Read More The post I’m Afraid to Be in a FLR appeared first on Loving FLR.

  • Even though Alpha women are strong, they know how to love too.
    by Te-Erika Patterson on February 21, 2021 at 11:30 pm

    I met Sarah during my broke days in UCLA Berkeley when I was desperately looking for a job. I dreamed and still plan to build up my career in Diplomacy and Foreign Affairs. My wife was a strong independent woman but unfortunately a heartbroken single mom when I first met her. I suffered 5 rejections+ Read More The post Even though Alpha women are strong, they know how to love too. appeared first on Loving FLR.

  • What is a Woman’s Responsibility in a FLR?
    by Te-Erika Patterson on April 10, 2020 at 9:20 pm

    We often discuss how important it is for men to uphold the FLR concepts of Please Her, Protect Her, Promote Her. But, in a Loving Female Relationship (Loving FLR) women have certain responsibilities too. A man wrote in recently to say: I cannot imagine that I’m the only man who gave his all to a+ Read More The post What is a Woman’s Responsibility in a FLR? appeared first on Loving FLR.

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  • 30+ Fabulous Christmas Presents For Long Distance Couples in 2020
    by Lisa McKay on November 30, 2020 at 6:00 pm

    Well, hasn’t 2020 been A YEAR? I know so many couples in long distance relationships have seen each other less than you would have guessed possible and thatmany of us are dragging ourselves towards Christmas and the New Year feeling ... Read More

  • Play “Never Have I Ever” with your SO long distance
    by Lisa McKay on October 4, 2020 at 6:12 am

    We’re going to do a series on games you can play in long distance relationships in coming weeks and months, and here’s the first installment for you… Never Have I Ever. Never Have I Ever is classic game “get to ... Read More

  • 7 Fun FaceTime Dates You and Your SO Will Love
    by Guest on September 1, 2020 at 3:01 am

      A FaceTime date isn’t ideal, but when you and your sweetheart have to be apart, it can be a great way to keep things exciting and still spend quality time together. It’s important that no matter how far the ... Read More

  • How to Host a Money Talk Date Night (+ Free Games!)
    by Guest on August 13, 2020 at 12:16 am

    Being in a relationship is about getting to know each other in a uniquely intimate way. During the early stages of your relationship you may feel like you’re “baring all” and learning all there is to know about each other. ... Read More

  • 5 Solid Signs You Can Trust Someone You’re In A Long Distance Relationship With
    by Guest on May 28, 2020 at 6:00 pm

    Let’s not sugar-coat it: long-distance relationships suck. Being away from your partner is hard, and can put a real strain on your relationship. It makes trust all the more important between you and your significant other (S.O). But there are ... Read More

  • Do You Feel Cursed in Love? Why you still don’t have the relationship you want
    by jessmccann on March 11, 2020 at 8:24 am

    Ashlee is one of those women who can walk into a room and make every head turn. She is a tall, slender brunette with blue eyes and a wide smile. But good looks aren’t Ashlee’s only attractive attribute; she is also smart, well-traveled, and outgoing.But Ashlee has never had a satisfying romantic relationship. She’s had numerous boyfriends—in fact, she’s rarely single for long—but their interest in her lasts only a few months. She eventually receives a break-up text or is ghosted without any warning. Ashlee cannot understand why she is unable to hold someone’s interest and is beginning to worry … Continue reading →

  • Four Phrases That Can Save Your Relationship
    by jessmccann on March 9, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    Things aren't good. In fact, they are really, really bad between you two. The love and companionship you once had seems like a thing of the past and now your days are filled with arguments, tears, and misunderstandings. Maybe you've tried for so long that you are almost ready to give up, or perhaps you are afraid that the one you love might give up on you. What I know is that most couples who want to stay together make a consorted effort to do so, however, the things they try are usually ineffective. Since communication is key to any healthy, happy relationship, most end up failing not due to lack of love but lack of understanding, empathy, and appreciation. And it's not necessarily because we don't possess those things, but because we don't effectively communicate them to each other. I've compiled a list of the 5 most important phrases that can turn around even the most broken of relationships. 1. How Can I Help? When is the last time you said these words to your partner? Maybe you've been so caught up in having him or her do things for you that you haven't thought about what you can do for them. This phrase is especially helpful if you use it at the very time you feel yourself about to get into yet another argument because your boy/girlfriend is in a bad mood and taking it out on you. Imagine that he comes home from a long day, doesn't greet you with open arms, and immediately jumps down your throat for something trivial because he's just had it with crappy job, shitty boss, or anything that is unrelated to you. You could get your panties in a bunch, defend yourself and retort with some snide come back, or you can recognize that his bad attitude is actually a cry for help. 2. What Would You Like Me To Do or Say? Said honestly and not sarcastically, this statement can save you a ton of time and frustration. Most of the time we think we are hearing people accurately (when we are not) and then we decide on what action to take based on that inaccurate assessment (which ends up doing nothing for them.) To get to the point, and start making positive changes right away, just ask your partner what they need from you instead of guessing. 3. You're Right. I find this phrase is more effective than the ever-popular "I'm Sorry." It may be because "I'm sorry" is over-used, or sometimes said half-heartedly, but "You're Right" hardly ever goes wrong. The key with these two words is, again, in timing. When your partner is telling you how they feel, citing places where you could improve, don't jump to point your finger back at them and start listing examples of where they, too, could improve. Instead just sit there, listen, and say, "Your Right." This is usually so disarming that it stuns the other person into softening up immediately. Then, you can have your turn to vent your frustrations. 4. I appreciate that you... This one speaks for itself. It's been said by numerous experts that the number one reason people leave relationships or cheat on their spouses is lack of appreciation, not lack of love. So how important do you think it is to actually say the words, "I appreciate"? Yeah, pretty important. It doesn't matter what it is that you appreciate either... emptying the dishwasher, sending a sweet text, remembering an important date, whatever it is, just tell the one you love that you appreciate their efforts. For more of my advice blogs click here to load. To check out my books on Amazon, click here. Continue reading →

  • What Every Girl Should Know About Hooking Up….
    by jessmccann on March 7, 2020 at 8:42 am

    This blog is an oldie but a goodie! I last posted it in 2009, so for anyone who hasn't read it yet, enjoy! Your are out with your friends enjoying a few drinks on a beautiful night. Your phone vibrates. You have one new text message. You pick it up and see that it's Sam, a guy you met three weeks ago and hooked up with because you were really wasted. He's a nice guy, but ever since that night, he's been pseudo-stalking you. You've been cordial, answering some of his texts and calls, mostly because you like the attention, but he's just not the one for you. You tell your friends at the table, "It's Sam the stalker again. He is out in DC and wants to know where I am." There's a round of snickers and laughs. Someone tells you to be nice to the poor guy and tell him where you are. You never know, he might have cute friends, she says. You take a sip of your margarita and say, "Let's see how the night goes. If we don't find any cute guys here, I will tell him to come by." Two hours and two rounds later, no one at the table has seen anyone cute. You are almost forced by one of your oversexed friends to call Sam and bring his entourage over. By now you have a good buzz going and figure, why not. He'll buy you your next round and tell you how hot you are. So you text Sam and tell him where you are in Arlington. You laugh to yourself because you don't even have to extend an invitation. You know very well that he's going to say by some strange coincidence that he's at the bar next door and will just swing by. Fifteen minutes later, Sam, his best friend, and his roommate stroll into bar. People are introduced, shots are ordered, and the night officially begins. Sam is all over you and the more you drink, the more you like it. By the end of the night, you and Sam are stumbling back to your place. You guys make out all over your apartment and for some reason it's really great. Maybe it's because you've been going through a dry spell, but whatever the reason, you are into it. You continue to make out with Sam and the more you kiss him, the more you like him. How could you have disregarded him before? Maybe he's not as bad as you initially thought. And then you wake up the next day completely sober and realize you had on major margarita glasses. Sam is lying in your bed, snoring like a sabertooth tiger, drooling on your favorite pillow. You are annoyed like crazy. How long is going to be here, you wonder? He finally wakes up, smiling like a cheshire cat, and pats the space next to him, indicating he wants you to lie back down. You'd rather shoot yourself than cuddle with Sam so you make up an excuse about having to run into work that morning. Disappointed, Sam reluctantly and slowly, gets out of your bed. You throw his pants at him and watch him stumble to get dressed, knocking over your alarm clock and family photo in the process. He apologizes and then asks if you have time to grab some breakfast. Ah, sorry no. You really don't. Some other time maybe. Sam picks up on your unintentional invitation to do this again, and says, "Ok, when? Do you want to meet up later tonight?" At this point you just want him out of your apartment so you tell him to call you later and you will see about getting together. He finally leaves after you pretend to walk to your car. You get back to your apartment and collapse on the couch. You eventually drift off to sleep but not before labeling Sam's number DO NOT ANSWER into your cell phone. I know you can all related to this story. We have all had guys we just aren't into, chase after us relentlessly. We've all caved and been nice to them, even hooked up with them once or twice. We've kept them on the back burner in cases of emergency and extreme boredom. But guess what? This story is not what you think. You've just entered the Twilight Zone. You were not out with your girlfriends having margaritas last night. You were in DC, hanging out with your best friend and her roommate, hoping to hear from the guy you met three weeks ago and had a hot hook up with. A hook up you have not been able to stop thinking about. That's right, in this scenario, YOU are Sam. You were the one who texted him to find out where he was. You were elated when he told you he was at the Eventide rooftop in Arlington. You rushed over and played it off as if you at the bar next door. You met up with him and his friends, had some drinks and ended up back at his place, where at some point in the night you fell completely in love. You woke up in his bed filled with excitement. You are certain he likes you now. He wanted to go to breakfast, but a work emergency took priority. Totally understandable. You like him even more because he's ambitious. He told you to call him later and you guys would meet up again that night. Maybe you saw this switch-a-roo coming from a mile away. Maybe my Twilight Zone blog was totally predictable. I really don't know. What I do know is this. There are lots of girls out there that string along men that they aren't interested in. They hook up with them when it's convenient, call when they are lonely, and essentially use them when they want to. Those same women often come crying to me when a man does the same thing to them. These girls bounce back and forth between men that like them but have no interest in, and men that they like but can't pin down. Ironically, these women cannot see the writing on the wall when a man is only with them out of convenience. They make up excuses for sporadic behavior. If he doesn't call for a week, but then suddenly texts while he's out on a Friday night, they believe it means he's suddenly come around! He was just busy all week with his stressful work schedule. The truth is that guys will use you in the same way you use them. In order to find love and happiness you must stop the cycle of use. It's the most anti-love action possible. How is it fair that you waste that nice boy's time but then fall to pieces when another guy does it to you? The Universe will absolutely bring you what you deserve and if it knows you are only hanging out with someone because you are lonely, it will not blink at handing you the same scenario. Don't waste your time on men that are not interested in you and don't waste someone else's time either. Getting involved with men who make you chase them can do a terrible number on your self-esteem. Unbalanced and unloving relationships chip away at your heart and by the time you find a guy that really likes you, you don't know how to act. You don't know how to really be in a healthy relationship because, thus far, in your past there has only been use. If you don't like someone, don't waste their time. And if a guy doesn't seem crazy about you, do yourself a big favor and just move on to someone who is. What you put out to the world is what you will get back. Be kind and loving to men and they will be kind and loving to you. Continue on to additional ADVICE BLOGS HERE. Continue reading →

  • Should I text him? How long should I wait if he took a week to contact me?
    by jessmccann on March 5, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Dear Jess, Last week I gave a guy my number. It took him six days to contact me, but he finally sent me a text. How long do I have to wait to respond to him? I’m a fan of applying old-school rules to new technology, so the first time a guy reaches out to you, you should wait at least twenty-four hours to respond. It does not matter if he texts, calls, e-mails, or instant messages. Whatever mode of communication he chooses still warrants the same reply time. Having difficulty with that? Think of it this way: Ever since you gave him your number six days ago, you’ve been staring at your phone, recapping the night you met him, second guessing his interest, and undoubtedly doubting yourself, what has he been doing? Going to the gym, seeing his friends, and, oh yeah, not calling you. As you’ve been sitting there in a quiet panic, wondering if you were going to hear from him, he’s been living life worry free. Now that he’s called you, it’s his turn to wait and stress a little. However, if you call or text him back immediately, that won’t happen. If he actually calls you, do not pick up. Let your voice mail handle things for now and return his call the following day. This isn’t revenge for making you wait—it’s just rebalancing for the greater good of your future relationship. After you text him back the first time, you are going to have to vary your response tactics. If you religiously wait exactly twenty- four hours each time, he will eventually pick up on your pattern and think you are playing a game. It’s always a good idea to let time pass before you reciprocate a call or text, but if you want to remain a mystery and keep the chase going, the key is to be unpredictable. Text back immediately some of the time but then wait a few hours or a whole day the next. Keep him on his toes by being unpredictable when it comes to your return texts and calls. What If He Calls and Doesn’t Leave a Message? Dear Jess, Update! He just called! But for some reason he didn’t leave a message. Can I call him back? If you want a guy to know that you have been sitting by the phone eagerly awaiting his call, then by all means, go right ahead and call him back. But consider this first: How do you know that he really meant to call you and this wasn’t just an accidental pocket dial? How embarrassed will you be if you call him and he says that he didn’t really intend to call you? Then all that self-restraint you’ve been exercising will be for nothing. He’ll think, “Wow, I pocket- dialed her and she got so excited she called me!” For argument sake, let’s say he did purposefully call you and did not leave a voice mail; if you call him back, you will be setting a precedent that he doesn’t ever have to leave you a message. While you may not care about that right now because you are so elated to hear from him, you will care after it happens for the tenth or fifteenth time. He will learn that he can do the bare minimum, and you will still jump to his attention. In essence, you are positively reinforcing bad manners and unconsciously telling him that you aren’t worthy of being properly pursued. One of my clients constantly struggled with her phone etiquette, too. She would always Continue reading →

  • Why You Haven’t Found Your Person: Your Unconscious (and Toxic) Dating Pattern
    by jessmccann on March 4, 2020 at 6:18 pm

    "I haven't had a boyfriend in years. Everyone around me is getting engaged. I can't believe I'm this old and still single!" Have you ever uttered these words? Maybe to a friend? Maybe to yourself? Have you sat there smiling at a girlfriends' bridal shower only to secretly be thinking, "Why isn't that me?" Are you feeling so frustrated by the lack of love in your life that you are almost ready to give up the dream of ever finding it? If any of this sounds like you, rest assured you are not alone. There are millions of females that feel just as you do, and are struggling just as you are. Like you, they want to find their person in life, and are totally unsure as to why they haven't yet. It wasn't this hard for your parents, so why is so hard for you? Is it just today's culture? Are you looking in the wrong places? Dating the wrong guys? Saying the wrong things? Whatever it is, you haven't figured it out, so you don't even know how to fix it. Recently I received an email through my website that summed up all the dating woes that women seem to be feeling these days. It said, "Dear Jess. I'm so over dating I could just cry. I have joined every dating site, gone to every meetup group, and forced myself to be as friendly and engaging as possible. In the end, I may get a few dates, but they never amount to anything. It's like the whole world has "gone casush" (short for gone casual) and no one wants a traditional relationship anymore. Is it really that things have changed so much, or is it me that's causing these disastrous dating results?" The answer is that yes, things have changed, but things have always been changing. Women used to get married by arrangement, and dates only took place with chaperones. That's no longer the case, of course. Yes, times change, but honestly, love hasn't. It's out there and guys do want it, too. The problem I see for most girls and young women is that they have an unknown, toxic dating pattern that has them perpetually yielding the same results with guys over and over again. In fact, I've seen these undiscovered patterns pop up so much over the last ten years that after only speaking to someone for about an hour, I can usually indentify which one they have. In all, there are five, and some of the ramifications are as follows: * The guys you like never like you back as much * You get angry or frustrated with the guys you date fairly often * You are alone (because you are pickier than most people) * You feel like it's just a matter of time before your relationship fails * You feel jealous of other people's relationships * You can't let go of a person or experience you've had in the past which has made you untrusting and jaded * You incessantly replay your conversations with people * You're always wondering where the relationship is going and then it doesn't go anywhere * You constantly compare yourself to other women and often feel like you are in competition with them * You think if you were prettier/smarter/thinner you would probably be in a relationship * You like things a very certain way to the point of perfectionism * You need constant reassurance that someone likes you If you can identify with any of the above listed items, it's highly likely you have one of the 5 patterns that I'm speaking of. Now is the time to figure out what yours is specifically and correct it. I'm now offering coaching packages of 3 or 5 sessions either over the phone or through email. Send me an email at coach@jessmccann.com and ask for pricing (I promise, it's worth it.) To check out more of my advice blogs, click here. Other Popular Blogs: Why He Chose Her Over You? Are You Likely To End Up Alone? He Hasn't Texted Me Back! What Do I Do?   Continue reading →

  • I (26f) may or may not have caused a divorce between an already unhappy couple (36m and 35f)
    by /u/ThrowRA576446 on July 25, 2021 at 6:20 pm

    I'm not heartless so it's impossible for me to not feel bad. Me and this guy have been sexually together for a year now. His wife has known about us from the very beginning and it is my understanding that she didn't care. I never really discussed it with her, but she knew I existed. I respected their home and their marriage just as i would want someone to respect my home and marriage. Last week, I was talking to him and I made mention to the fact that I've noticed he's been pretty upset lately. He hasn't been himself. He pointed me to his FB profile and i noticed it said divorced. I didn't ask any questions, as we have a strong "mind your business" understanding between us. Their relationship and the falling out of it was just that. None of my business. But I cannot help, but feel like i am at least part of the cause as to why this happened. And it didn't help much that i know he's hurting and wants to open up, but he is terrified to. He wants to open up to me but I'm afraid that him doing that would open me up to be a hard rebound. TL:DR an extramarital sexual partner I've had for a year just informed me that he is getting divorced from his wife and I feel like i may have caused it, and I'm afraid that he's going to try and rebound on me during his time of need. submitted by /u/ThrowRA576446 [link] [comments]

  • i think my boyfriend could be cheating adjacent
    by /u/DayPast on July 25, 2021 at 6:13 pm

    Okay let firstly say i’m a 19 year old woman and my boyfriend is a 20 year old boy. that sounds mean but that’s just how i feel about it. so let me give some backstory. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nine months and when we started dating he told me he cheated on his ex girlfriend by asking girls on instagram for nudes and stuff like that. he told me he wasn’t like that anymore and i proceeded with caution. after six months of dating i said it made me feel uncomfortable and disrespected that after all this time he still followed and liked the random girls who only post ass pics. he didn’t do anything about it and made me feel kinda bad about being insecure. i’ve always had an issue with it but i ignored it when even my friends brought up how disrespectful it was and i had never said anything to them about it. well last night i saw this account he followed (he later claimed she was an old coworker friend) and he was commenting things like “damn” “you ain’t gotta pop off like that” and when in regards to a post where she talked about her vagina in a sexual way (not shaming her just saying what it is) he commented “oh word?!?👀”. he has mentioned how he has problems with staying loyal and he’s never brought up this girl once. he’s never said anything about working with this girl or even being friends with her… I feel like this is super disrespectful and could lead to cheating behavior if this doesn’t already kinda qualify. i don’t know if i should stay or break up with him. i have so much love for him and never in my life had i ever felt this way about anyone. i just don’t know if after this i can really trust him. i don’t know how he can fix it or what he could do to even make me feel better about the whole thing. That being said i love him to death. Seriously. I know it’s cheesy and stupid but in high school i never really had a boyfriend/girlfriend i felt this strongly for. outside of my trust issues and this problem he can be so kind. he’s funny and witty and chill. his only real flaws are that he isn’t that considerate and this whole weird cheating problem he has… No actual JUST (guy) friend i’ve had has commented this kinda stuff on my instagram or even said this kinda stuff really. it just feels like there is a lot a more im not seeing. to make things worse if we break up i have to testify in court for him on behalf of him not being a bad boyfriend. seriously we had a fight in front of cops about a month ago and he got charged with some domestic stuff (he never has laid a hand on me. cops where i am from love to charge people with ANYTHING). if we break up i don’t wanna have to see him but i would have to in court. that’s why i want to work things out at least until then. if there’s anything i can do or he should do then why not ask for advice ig… TL;DR- My boyfriend has been liking and commenting borderline thirsty stuff on instagram. I feel like this is super disrespectful to our relationship and me. The only problem is i still love and care about him and want to see if things can be fixed. What should i do? submitted by /u/DayPast [link] [comments]

  • I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship, how do I cope?
    by /u/throwingaway_ithink on July 25, 2021 at 6:12 pm

    To put it simply, I (17f) was in a relationship with a guy (17m), he was emotionally abusive and we could barely ever go a week without him causing some kind of argument or being rude for no reason. He has probably "ended" our friendship/relationship at least 30 times. Then he impulsively broke up with me because he was mad that i have friends now, and i refused to get back together. We stayed friends, until he said he wants to be alone for a few days and when i said we can do that, he says I'm abandoning him and gets mad. His last words to me were "I hope you die", paired with a smiley. That's when i blocked him and haven't talked to him since. It's tough. Any advice or comment is appreciated and i just want any suggestions that could help me cope. I also kinda miss him. Help Tldr: my ex was abusive, a couple days ago he told me he wants me to die and i finally blocked him, I want advice to cope with the breakup and craziness. submitted by /u/throwingaway_ithink [link] [comments]

  • My [F17] boyfriend [M18] is driving me insane with the way he argues.
    by /u/ravenhe on July 25, 2021 at 5:48 pm

    We’ve been together for about 7 months now. Recently we’ve been having more arguments than usual, and the way he handles them is making me lose my mind. If I bring up something that bothers me, he responds by telling me: ”Well, you do it too.” and he’s called me a hypocrite too. I told him I recognise that he feels like he’s not being treated fairly, but if those things bother him too, he should bring it up himself and not just use it as an argument against me, when I’m telling him that something he did bothers me. He told me that he won’t bring them up himself, even though they bother him, because he doesn’t want to deal with the conversation. This next thing I don’t know how to explain, so I’ll give and example of a situation: I tell my boyfriend that it upsets me, when he interrupts me and talks over me during arguments. He responds with ”Fine, I’ll just not talk at all then.” I know we’re really young, and it’s expected for people our age to be immature, but I feel like I’m dealing with a middle-schooler in these situations. I’ve tried talking to him about it but he doesn’t seem to understand me and gets really upset. He’s also told me, that he thinks we should act less mature in terms of fighting, which I find quite weird. These fights happen over the phone, since we live away from each other. I have no clue what I should do, I don’t want to end things, but this is tiring me badly. TL;DR My boyfriend gets very defensive and immature when I bring up something that bothers me. submitted by /u/ravenhe [link] [comments]

  • Understanding my abusers
    by /u/Squash_Limp on July 25, 2021 at 5:47 pm

    Hi, I (F29) am in the process of healing from two very abusive (physically and emotionally) relationships. I am in the process of therapy and working through things like understanding trauma bonds and why I stuck around for so long in first a five year marriage (M34) where I was abused and then a year relationship (M27) where the same things occurred. I was wondering if anyone could give me an insight in understanding something that still eats me to this day, it literally keeps me up at night and I spend hours trying to understand it. Both these exes. Would say the most cruel, evil things to me. Like how worthless, stupid and disgusting I was and way more horrible things that would take a lot to go into, but just basically why they resented me and didn't want me in the most awful way they could put it and how I mean nothing to them how even how they (M27) want to fuck other chicks besides me. Break up with me and tell me I need to leave and get out the next day. Then (M34) the next day would act like nothing happened. Speak lovingly to me. And the second guy (M27) In the middle of his sleep. Would wake up and grab me to cuddle into me and hold me at night. AFTER ALL THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE. why?? What the fuck? This is what I believe sucked me into staying most of the time and being confused at what these people wanted. Thinking maybe they didn't mean what they said and we're just angry, which doesn't make it okay. But in my emotionally distraught state at the time I felt comfort for a short time. Before feeling confused and afraid again. Why did these men do this to me? Make me hate myself and feel hated by them just to show me love again. If they thought so badly of me and wanted me out of their lives so bad why wouldn't they just say their awful pieces and be done? Why did they have to fuck with me like that?? I don't understand it.. TDLR; F29 wants to understand psychology behind why M34 and M27 would be so emotionally abusive, breakup and then loving randomly and confusing F29 submitted by /u/Squash_Limp [link] [comments]